So, What Will The Revolution Be?

Smoke Bomb Igniting
Originally uploaded by e20ci

In the last blog entry we established that the revolution will not be televised. But what, according to the web, WILL the revolution be? Glad you asked.

The revolution will be posted.
The revolution will be folksonomied.
The revolution will be photographed.
The revolution will be digitized
The revolution will be motorized.
The revolution will be accessorized.
The revolution will be mapped.
The revolution will be You-tubed.
The revolution will be wireless.
The revolution will be modernized.
The revolution will be visualized.
The revolution will be wikified.
The revolution will be socialized.
The revolution will be solarized.
The revolution will be dugg.
The revolution will be fictionalized.
The revolution will be advertised.
The revolution will be animated.
The revolution will be illuminated.
The revolution will be e-mailed.
The revolution will be cataloged.

So now you know.

I should add, I saw Gil Scott-Heron perform once, probably around 1990, right here in Bellingham. He was stunning. And boy, if he wasn't a great musician he could have just done stand up comedy.

I understand he's had trouble with drugs in the last decade. (He might say he's had trouble with police, but either way the result is bad news).

What The Revolution Will Not Be

Smashed TV
Originally uploaded by Grant Neufeld

Do you remember a wonderful song from the 1970s called “The Revolution Will Not Be Televised?” Gil Scott-Heron is a jazz musician and is sometimes called the father of Rap because of that amazing rant. You can read the lyrics here or hear it at Rhapsody.

Yesterday I saw a new book entitled The Revolution Will Not Be Microwaved: Inside America's Underground Food Movements

A great title. It reminded me that the comic strip Wondermark (which combines 19th century graphic art with 21st century humor) offers a T-shirt for sale that proclaims “The Revolution Will Not Be Telegraphed!”

That got me thinking. So I went to what New Scientist magazine refers to as a Famous Web-based Search Engine and got a comprehensive list of what the revolution will not be. These are my favorites, loosely categorized. (Yes, I know. The revolution will not be loosely categorized.)

The revolution will not be downloaded
The revolution will not be uploaded
The revolution will not be blogged
The revolution will not be webcast
The revolution will not be podcast
The revolution will not be digitized
The revolution will not be engineered
The revolution will not be shrink-wrapped
The revolution will not be recycled
The revolution will not be merchandised
The revolution will not be effectively distributed
The revolution will not be designed
The revolution will not be advertised
The revolution will not be outsourced
The revolution will not be funded
The revolution will not be sexualized
The revolution will not be feminized
The revolution will not be fertilized
The revolution will not be fraternized
The revolution will not be plagiarized
The revolution will not be curated
The revolution will not be copyrighted
The revolution will not be metered
The revolution will not be mapped
The revolution will not be satirized
The revolution will not be motorized
The revolution will not be motorcycled
The revolution will not be piloted
The revolution will not be lego-sized
The revolution will not be verified
The revolution will not be shushed

We will let Mr. Scott-Heron have the final word:

The revolution will be no re-run, brothers.
The revolution will be live.