In Praise of Gobbledygook

I have been enjoying the Government Printing Office's new blog, Government Book Talk, which I wrote about here. The latest entry concerns the new edition of the GPO Style Manual.

That reminded me of my favorite federal book about language, Gobbledygook Has Gotta Go. It was written by John O'Hayre and published by the Bureau of Land Management in 1966.

It is thoroughly outdated, of course. It assumes all women are secretaries, and I don't mean Secretaries of State. But as a guide to clear language and an antidote to gov-speak, it is hard to beat. Here is one of my favorite passages.

"Here's a pompous memo that rankled F.D.R. so much that he rewrote it and shot it back to the man who pomped it up in the first place. The memo dealt with what Federal workers were to do in case of an air raid:

Such preparations will be made as will completely obscure all Federal buildings and non-Federal buildings occupied by the Federal Government during an air raid for any period of time from visibility by reasons of internal or external illumination. Such obscuration may be obtained either by black=out construction or by termination of illumination.

Here's how F.D.R. dignified the memo by giving it simplicity:

Tell them that in buildings where they have to keep the work going to put something over the windows; and, in buildings where they can let the work stop for a while, turn out the lights."

I'll bet the memo writer hated to lose obscuration. It seemed to be his motto.

On The Ground

8:36pm: reading
Originally uploaded by Laurel Fan

Every year around this time some pleople make a list of the most overworked words and phrases. A few years ago one was "on the ground," especially "the situation on the ground" in Iraq or Afghanistan, but also "boots on the ground," "reporters on the ground," etc. Christopher Borrelli complained "what else would troops be doing, hovering?"

I sympathize, but today I remet an old friend, Mark Twain's Roughing It, published in 1872, and in his Preferatory I came across this phrase "no books were written by persons who were on the ground in person..." Clearly the same meaning.

I have since found the phrase (through the very wonderful twin websites, Making Of America) in an article that appeared in American Whig Review in 1845. It was clearly describing a military siuation.

So the phrase may be overused, but it is venerable, at least.

Atlas of True Names

Okay, this is brilliant and I need one immediately. If the names on the map above look a little odd it is because this is from the Atlas of True Names, an etymological guide to place names. For example, the name New York means New Wild Boar Village. As several people have commented, the names in Europe sound remarkably like they come from Middle Earth.

The two Atlases (World and Europe) haven't been published in the U.S. (United States of the Home Ruler) yet. I want 'em.

Thanks to the Map Room for pointing this out and Spiegel for the illustration.

All Birds Can dance

Bird dance instructions
Originally uploaded by nature_photonutt

Photo by nature_photonutt
All Birds Can dance. Even falcons get hula instruction. Juvenile kiwis love mazurkas; night owls prefer quieter rhythms. Strutting turkeys use Vienna waltzes (xenophilious, yet zippy.)